Two-Day Leadership Offsite on Daily 7 A.M. Crash Costs Thirteen Times the Fix
The follow-up offsite is planned for spring. The crash is planned for 7:00 a.m.
Banff, Alta.By Gazette staffOct 29
Vol. I, No. 4Thursday, 29 October 2026Price: one spreadsheet
The Daily Llama
Est. 2023, reprinted under protestAll the news he declined to comment on
“Fix the board. Skip the retreat.”
Software Vendor Closes $612,000 Deal on 14th Fairway, Declines to Demonstrate Software
The contract was witnessed by a beverage cart.
London, Ont.By Gazette staffOct 29
Employees Complete Three-Hour Software Training Six Weeks Before Receiving Logins
Attendees were asked to practice by imagining the buttons.
Monterrey, N.L.By Gazette staffOct 29
Pickle Llama Reads Entire Safety Binder, Finds Two Procedures Still in Use
One of them is to call Dale. Dale retired in 2021.
Tulsa, Okla.By Gazette staffOct 29
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PreviouslyFrom back issuesAll issues
Logistics Firm Hires Fourth Dispatcher to Manage Spreadsheet That Tracks the Other Three
The workbook contains 41 tabs and one macro nobody will touch. It is opened by all four employees simultaneously each morning.
Hamilton, Ont.By Gazette staffSep 15
Area Distributor’s ERP Rollout Enters Its Fourteenth Year of Phase Two
Officials describe the milestone as “on track.”
Red Deer, Alta.By Gazette staffSep 15
Pickle Llama Found Standing in Dispatch Office at 5:40 A.M.; Staff Unsure How He Got In
The building has one door. It was locked. He was inside it.
Thunder Bay, Ont.By Gazette staffSep 15
Transformation Consultant Delivers 90-Slide Deck Recommending Second Deck
The second deck is expected to recommend a workshop.
Mississauga, Ont.By Gazette staffSep 1
Saltillo, Coah. — I have 41 tabs and one of them is called ‘FINAL_v7_USE_THIS’. There is also a ‘FINAL_v8’. Which one is final?
THE LLAMA:Neither. Ask Gary.
Hamilton, Ont. — Our ERP go-live has been ‘next quarter’ for eleven quarters. Is this normal?
THE LLAMA:It is common. It is not normal.
Red Deer, Alta. — My controller is the only person who knows where the file is. She is retiring in March.
THE LLAMA:Back her up. Then the file.
WANTED: anyone who knows the password to the shared drive. Serious inquiries. Ask for Doreen.
FOR SALE: 90-slide transformation deck, lightly used, recommends second deck. OBO.
LOST: Phase One. Last seen 2019. Answers to ‘Discovery’.
FOUND: macro, 2009, author Gary. Do not touch. Do not ask.
SEEKING: fifth dispatcher to track the fourth. Must love tabs.
NOTICE: steering committee will meet Thursday to steer. Agenda TBD.
FREE: clipboard, 30 yrs service, plaque included. Some wear.
HELP WANTED: someone to open the Access database. Llama unavailable.